A tale of two suckers: Donald Trump's plastic straws and Keir Starmer | Stewart Lee

The US president has scrapped paper straws because they allegedly 'explode' - a bit like the PM's reputation if he keeps refusing to confront him on the big issuesIt's difficult to know whether to set any store by Donald Trump's bleak and yet also often banal pronouncements, which read as if handfuls of offensive concepts have been tossed into the air by a monkey, read out in whatever order they landed and then made policy. Until it's clear they can't work. At which point, the monkey must toss again.But this month, Trump, whose morning ablutions increasingly appear to consist of dousing himself in sachets of the kind of cheap hot chocolate powder I steal from three-star hotels, like a flightless bird stuck in the machine that glazes Magnum lollies, declared he wanted to build his hotels on the mass graves of Gaza. Hasn't Trump seen The Shining? It won't end well. Pity those whose children have the misfortune to die next to a monetisable stretch of shoreline. And hope humanity's next wave of mass killings happens somewhere uneven and way inland that hopefully wouldn't even make a decent golf course.Stewart Lee tours Stewart Lee vs the Man-Wulf this year, with a Royal Festival Hall run in JulyDo you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a letter of up to 250 words to be considered for publication, email it to us at observer.letters@observer.co.uk Continue reading...